Ahh, Mother’s Day. An whole day for time-starved moms to rest, relax and luxuriate in hours and hours of leisure from real-world responsibilities.
Right?
Wrong! Moms know a truth; a “celebration” is only another day of sophistry mixed jobs, from sanctimonious to suffer eating eggs in bed — um, sum — to cajoling a kids into finger-painting mixed Hallmark cards in time for a Grandmas to uncover adult for lunch.
So, here’s something we can contend for Tim Hortons’ new Mother’s Day promotion: they know what’s up.
The Canadian sequence — consider Dunkin’ Donuts with cheerier staff — is charity a free, “Mom-sized” ice coffee Sunday, to all business who brand as mamas (the press release points out that a graduation includes “dog moms,” too).
And a caffeinated splash isn’t a lovable small medium-bear beverage, either. This is a 52-oz super-sized gas tank of coffee. That’s roughly a half-gallon of fuel to keep mom zooming as she takes a verbatim pot o’ joe to a dome.
In other words, that’s one jumpy manicure; an aggressively talkative massage; a yoga category that turns into Zumba-for-one as all a untroubled twenty-somethings in a category give confused side-eye from their downward dogs.
But Tim Hortons knows a truth: pampering and “Namaste” is not what genuine Mother’s Day is about.
It’s about a fun of spending time with your messy, wild, unlawful family.
But here’s a thought: Dads, instead of promulgation Mom out to collect adult donuts, and vouchsafing her begrudgingly fuss “Mom-sized” so she can guzzle her giveaway half-gallon of coffee on a approach home, maybe give her a few mins to Dyson a omelet ruins off a duvet in assent while we run a errand yourself.
It is Mother’s Day, after all.